One of the things I grew up dealing with was my chronic depression. Growing up in a traditional brown house mental health was as a taboo topic as sex, so obvious I talked about it as little as possible and did not acknowledge that I had a problem. When I was twelve years old, I was cyber bullied by people who I had once thought to have been my friends. It left an imprint on my life that I can’t wash away. It made me doubt myself for a long time that I never really felt like I was enough for anyone and that there wasn’t a reason to live. I still think about how I was able to get out of that headspace and be able to keep living right now. I feel like there is a reason that I made it this far. I kept my battle with depression a secret and I wish I hadn’t. When I lost my cousin a year ago I realized what power speaking up had and maybe if we talked about mental illness and issues like depression, if it would have saved some people. I won;t go into mental health because I am saving that for another day, but somethings that did help me through my dark times was meditation, company, and music. Being twelve, I wasn’t able to go to therapy but if you are going through a similar situation and are able to afford therapy I would highly suggest it. Right now I am not able to afford it but one day I hope to go to therapy because I do feel like it is a healthy ritual that can hopefully undue some of the damage and bring some closure to certain situations. Meditation and music kept me grounded throughout most of my life. They both were my escapes from a reality that I couldn’t face. Meditation reminded me that their was value to my life and that I was a substance that occupied this earth and their was a reason why I was in this moment. Music helped me regain my confidence in myself later in life and even in present day. It took me a decent amount of time to look at myself in the mirror and accept this life I was given. As corny as it sounds, musicians such as Beyonce and Nicki Minaj helped me remember that I am a person that has so much to offer and that there is a reason to keep living. The lyrics in the songs empowered me and reminded me that I am able to have that same impact on a person’s life with my words. I hope in this blog I am able to do that. It’ll take time definitely but even if I make an impact on one person, it will be enough for me. Currently I am doing better with my depression and have learned to control it on a daily basis. I do not take medicine for it but thats because I learned at a young age to control my depression in other ways so I stick to those since they have worked for me in the past. I have nothing against taking anitdepressants, I just advise that you speak to your doctor and therapist before starting since they are so many kinds. Battling depression is such a constant battle that so many people deal with on the daily and it affects millions of lives. If you have anyways that you think people can benefit from drop it in the comments below. I’ll try my best to not be this disorganized in my next blog post lol

Until next time,

Typogoddess